It has been a long week. I have been battling an ugly respiratory virus and have basically no voice. But, it was spring break, so we followed through with our plans and went anyway, even with a sick momma.  I’ve pulled my dying body to work through more misfortune and taught all day, so a cross-state road trip should be easy, right? I mean, what’s a little trip to the zoo, science museum, chess museum, and a variety of other sites going to hurt?

We went to the St. Louis Science Museum, and my son was captivated by the opportunities in their maker’s space area.  He tried numerous different adaptations of building a sail for a ship, testing them out to see how they compared.  He quickly noticed that low and flat seemed to beat his designs most of the time, but he wanted to try creative adaptations to see how they would do.  Watching him gave me a lot of time to think.  (It also gave me a lot of time to watch the people around me.  The multiple field trip groups that were there vividly reminded me of all I am *ahem* missing by no longer teaching middle school. I didn’t feel at all deprived.  Weird.  *snorts with laughter*  But, there wasn’t even a tiny little sense of loss as I watched a group of five girls hold a blowing tube– basically a reverse vacuum sweeper– up to their faces as they opened their mouths, taking selfies to see who had the weirdest face and the biggest mouth.)

Failure wasn’t part of my son’s thinking while he tinkered.  He was just exploring to see what would happen with change.  He was already pretty familiar with what would result in the best time outcome but was more interested in the “what if” aspect of his work.  Even the silly group of girls taught me something through their lack of inhibition.  They weren’t hurting anything.  Really, I guess they also just kind-of wanted to see what would happen.

I have an event coming up that could potentially be important.  I’m definitely nervous about it, partially because I don’t really know what I’m doing and partially because a lot of it rides on an upcoming conversation.  Unfortunately, my voice sounds… horrible right now.  I don’t lose any quality of life or career if things don’t work out the way I hope, but having it work out would be extremely cool.

I need to approach this more like a middle schooler would.

Dive in, croak out what I have to say, and be glad for the opportunity to experiment with possible change.

If it works favorably- try to avoid injury while I cartwheel in excitement.  If not, it’s okay. Maybe try another way.