I am a pretty focused person. I plan, make lists, make reservations, allow for contingencies, and then, for good measure, make backup plans just in case. The year a student hacked into our system and deleted my entire grade book, I was able to recover from the situation pretty well, because I had old-school, printed-out records. It wasn’t how I wanted to spend my entire Memorial Day weekend, and I still hope he suffered some really terrible finger leprosy as a consequence for his deliberately destructive keystrokes, but I survived. Last year when we had some lovely young people using their powers for evil, not good, and took down our internet at random times throughout the day for a month, I started stockpiling about a week’s emergency, backup lessons I could pull out at a moment’s notice. It’s just how I roll.
This same quality in my mother is something that I find desperately annoying, so to those of you in life who have suffered because of my need for control– sorry! Well, kind-of sorry. Okay, I’m sorry it bothered you, but I’m not sorry things were that way.
In late February, a few friends and I drove to a PD about three hours from my hometown to see Kelly Gallagher present. We started from a suburb where I’d never been, and my phone’s GPS just couldn’t ever really get us back on track on the way there. We arrived– eventually– but I am pretty sure I’ve seen strands of spaghetti wider and straighter than the little country roads we were on most of the time.
The last few weeks, my life’s GPS has felt just as out of sync. I’ve been driving on those country roads, keeping a white-knuckled grip on the wheel, trying to make it through to my destination each day. My crockpot has sat dormant. My grocery list has remained unwritten. My lesson plans have been sketchy at best. Parent conference week (sick), followed by an out of town vacation (still sick), then a week on antibiotics and struggling to get enough air (obviously… still sick) all took the wind out of my sails. I just couldn’t arm wrestle life into submission like normal.
This weekend has been restorative. I will guiltily admit– I should have graded a stack of essays. I kind-of know what I’m doing for lesson plans this week, but that’s going to have to get firmed-up after #titletalk this evening. Instead, I rested. I actually sat, watched TV, read, and slept. Other than fetching my mother’s groceries for her and attending church, I put life’s many, many obligations on hold. The world has made it just fine the last three weeks without me running it all, so I suppose a little longer won’t hurt it too much.
I promise I’ll get back to world domination soon.
Now that I feel well enough to enjoy it, I’m kind of liking being a little bit irresponsible.