Last Friday, someone sprayed cheap perfume in my classroom while I did hall supervision duty.

It was their effort to rid the room of the funky shoe smell and BO with hang-time that sometimes happens in a middle or high school class. The previous room occupants had been too fragrant for their refined tastes, so they decided to attempt to improve the situation.

This particular perfume did NOT help. In fact, it was the opposite of helpful.

At the bell, I walked into class but didn’t encounter the breathe-shallowly-and-sometimes- through-your-mouth atmosphere I was expecting. No, this was more of the JUST STOP BREATHING IMMEDIATELY variety.  It was accompanied by the feeling that someone had poured a can of Coke onto my eyeballs, and they were rapidly in the process of dissolving.

I went straight to the windows that open just enough to let a few oxygen molecules seep into the room and pushed them as far as they would go!

As the hour progressed, I eventually closed one of the two, because it aired out enough that the “I’m cold!” complaints overrode my need for breathable air.

But I can’t remember whether I ever closed the second window.

It is hidden behind a set of curtains, mostly behind a bookcase, so I would not have seen it as a reminder.

All weekend long I have been second guessing whether I did.

All weekend long, I have wondered if a bird or a rodent or a living creature of any kind will be there to greet me first thing Monday. For the record, Kamikaze bird in a classroom is something you only need to experience once, and I have already checked that one off my bucket list, thanks!

I blame my absent-mindedness on temporary oxygen deprivation and really, really hope my auto-pilot closed that window.

I’ll know soon…